I am jealous of Blake Federick.
Why?
Let’s see. I woke up today, packed my calculus textbook, trekked to The Boulevard for some coffee, scheduled a IB Club meeting with Khalil, and decided to isolate myself for the rest of the day in Irving. Of course, like most UBC students, my final exams start in 10 days. Boring stuff.
But in the last 24 hours, Blake Federick has managed to embarrass UBC and the entire student body, abuse the power entrusted to him as AMS President, and work with Pivot Legal Society to submit a complain to the United Nations complaining that the Canadian and BC Governments have broken human right laws by overcharging student tuitions.
Seriously, what does he expect the UN to do?
Assistant: Commissioner Pillay!
Pillay: What is it, Jean?
Assistant: I have a letter for you, madam.
Pillay: Well, I’m a little busy at the moment. After all, I am the UN’s High Commissioner for Human Rights.
Assistant: But it’s urgent.
Pillay: Can’t it go through the mail pile like all the—
Assistant: No, it can’t wait.
Pillay: Why?
Assistant: It’s from Canada.
Pillay: Close the door now.
Assistant: What do I tell the delegation from Haiti?
Pillay: I don’t know. Tell them we’re breaking for lunch. Just lock the door.
Assistant: Yes madam.
Pillay: *begins reading*
Assistant: What is it about?
Pillay: It’s about rising tuition at Canadian universities.
Assistant: No.
Pillay: It seems that students who pay some of the lowest tuition fees in the developed world will now have to pay significantly more.
Assistant: That’s horrendous and totally deserving of our attention!
Pillay: It’s a good thing this guy Frederick came to us.
Assistant: Why didn’t he contact us earlier?
Pillay: People act desperately during humanitarian crises.
Assistant: What are we going to do?
Pillay: You know that guy I was going to assign to our research group on development in Somalia?
Assistant: Roberto?
Pillay: I’m putting him on this.
Assistant: Good idea.
Pillay: And you know those funds that we were going to direct into the Rwanda group? Send them into Canada research.
Assistant: Yes, madam.
Pillay: *starts tearing up*
Assistant: What is it Commissioner Pillay?
Pillay: Oh, it’s this story they attached near the end about a poor boy named Tristan. Apparently, despite working part-time and receiving grants, he still accrued $42,000 in debt while completing his second bachelor’s degree at UBC.
Assistant: Those bastards.
Pillay: I can’t finish reading this.
Assistant: Commissioner Pillay?
Pillay: Yes Jean?
Assistant: I have a suggestion.
Pillay: What is it?
Assistant: We should send this to the Security Council.
Pillay: This is why I hired you, Jean.
Assistant: What kinds of sanctions should we propose.
Pillay: I don’t care. Sanction everything.
Assistant: Good idea, madam. This is Nobel Peace Prize material.
- Taken off the Terry Website
Of course, Blake Federick’s life has always been very interesting. From the disqualification last year, to his appeal, and re-election, to the whole UBC farm saga, underground bus loop joke, and now the United Nations. The AMS has scheduled an emergency meeting today at 5pm to discuss whether Blake Federick and Tim Chu, VP External should be impeach. Federick and Chu replied in a statement today that nether of them will be able to attend the hearing “due to prior commitments”
I can’t think of any prior commitments that can be more important than answering to your student body and clearing your name. Obviously, they are trying to buy time and I expect heads to roll by next week. Alex Monegro, who is the current IB Club President, should be given the job, if he still wants it, and would be my original choice for President if I was allowed to vote last year.
However, I am disappointed that two other executives Tom Dvorak and Johannes Rebane might be forced to resign as they might have co-signed the contract with Pivot. I believe that there has been a lot of political fighting and games in the AMS before this saga and Dvorak and Rebane might be the causalities of this war. I spoke to Rebane during Frosh and we talked about the health care system in Norway and the United States. He seems to be very intelligent, willing to listen to the opinions of others and take positive action on sketchy issues. I also know that he is the role model of many first year commerce students so many will be disappointed to see him go. However, regardless of what qualities Rebane might have, we might see a overhaul of the AMS executives this term.
Aside from all these drama, my finals are coming so I should probably be focusing on my calculus textbook that has been closed for a while. But if you are still clueless as to what is going on, the UBC Insider gives a pretty good overview on what is going on. Also, the Ubyssey will be covering the emergency meeting live from 4.30pm.
Who said UBC was boring?
